Saturday, July 31, 2010

And then it hit me...


Mental break. That's what I was doing. And then there it was, a picture of my ex with a girl. I'm not one to go looking for things--- because if you're looking you shall find, and frankly I just don't care nor do I want to know. But this, this was not just a regular picture, this was romance on my screen... and I knew, right there and then that this was a new love.

I'm going to wear my heart on my sleeve now...

Slap. Punch. Kick. I felt like I had just gotten jumped on a shady street. My first love broke my heart... and now he has a new girlfriend. I don't hold grudges and I don't wish bad upon new love, never... but understand we parted ways because he didn't have time for a relationship, and weeks later he was on to the next one.

I'm not playing the victim, I'm just shocked. I trusted someone with my emotions, something hard for me to do-- maybe its because of the whole absent daddy thing--- and I forgot how vulnerable I can truly be.

Made me step back and wonder if there was something wrong with me, but I stopped that thought quick... there is nothing wrong with me. We were just the wrong match, hopefully his new love is the right one.

I just wish he would have been more honest, because at least then I would have walked on the opposite side of that shady street, where the whole block was lit.

And so I shed.

MisUnderstood.

1 comments:

A.R.T said...

heartfelt and true..love it!