stories...

So I tell my mother that I want to get las barajas read because I have this curiousity that wont let up... and I tell her that I think its because when I used to live in Margarita her friend used to read el tabaco... I was six so I dont know how I remember this so vividly. Well my mother confesses to me that she used to get her cards read around my age and that she stopped believing in it but that a lot of things that they told her became true.. Crazy. But as we are sharing stories the wildest of them all is the one of the day I was born.

She tells me that the night I was born there was a huge storm in DR and she got into a head on car crash with a truck and that all she remembers is the crash. That she was unconscious and woke up with bruices... She tells me that the car crash was so horrible that she doesn't know how either of us survived.

That got me thinking about my life, and the impact I've made on those around me... how would this world be without me? hmmm... and how will it be once I'm gone.

Dig it.

Check it one two...too...do...

What a weekend! I got a job! part time but still something is always better than nothing...
So kudos to me (pat in the back)
I got to hang out with my girls! specifically my ninja haha

My official grad party got postponed (que nevada dios santisimo)
But my Mj hooked it up at a local spot and we made moves... I was thankful for those that came through. I'm not big on things that shine, the small details will always be more important to me.

I ended the weekend with a failed attempt at getting a piercing (I'll try again!)
But in the midst of doing some holiday shopping, rapping on the bus with Lari Dadi (it was therapeutic I swear)
I realized (there goes that word again) that if it weren't for a few good friends, I would probably go insane.

2 more weeks for new years!

God is good.

Dig it.

Thoughts.

If only she understood. (thats what he thought)
If only he would have seen. (was what she said)
It is what it is. (was how it was left)

... nostalgic...

This whole semester I couldnt wait to finish... and now that I turned in my last paper I can't help but feel nostalgic.
Dont get me wrong, I am so proud of myself as I stated in a previous blog...
I can't even begin to grasp the idea that I really...am... done.

Maybe its the empty walls (after all the posters and pictures are down)
Maybe is the empty closet (all my clothes are packed)
Maybe is the empty room next door (my housemate left before me)
Or maybe is the idea that this will never be again... these 4 years. This chapter of my life is officially closed.

And then I can't help but smile.
I started the year happy.
I plan to welcome the new one the same way.

NYC.

This is some Ish...

Started reading my journal... Some of my 2008 quotes...
"Sometimes life is what happens... when I take the train.."
"I don't have to rush anything because whatever is meant for me will be... its already written"
"I think all women should hope for a man that makes them feel like they are the only one in the room"

"Who ever complained about a little sunshine?"
"Never fall for pretty sweet nothings..."
"Most things come with an expiration date... "
"Ill take my chances with chance any given chance I get"
"I want to succeed and be able to help someone else succeed as well. I want to buy a nice outfit and not feel guilt aright after. I want to understand why things that shouldn't happen happen. I want to travel around the world as much as humanly possible so that I have a gazillion stories for my grandchildren. I want to be discovered by love and then discover it every night and day. I want to be happy"

Totally into these songs... Jeez leave it to John legend to put me in that mood that females feel... ugh.
Everybody Knows
No other love

OOooo ....

I don't wanna do SHIT. I don't have not even one drop of motivation to do anything related to school other than packing my things up and going home... and then I look at the things that need to get done before I could officially finish this undergraduate life (I feel like one of those cartoons running away as someone is clearly pulling his/her jacket...so he/she is moving no where) oh dios.

Random thoughts in my mind... at 1 am... yes, I am up at 1 am... a true college student... I wonder if next sunday I'll be up at 1 am...

Competing with the past is not going to rock with me this new year... so... if for some reason you decide to creep up on me and tap me on my shoulder I plan to keep walking forward... I may look back every once in a while just to see how far I've come... but trust, you are the past for a reason.

I will not compare and contrast myself, resizing and increasing the pigments of the many portraits of my past...few...days...weeks...months...That was then and this is now... me... I am smart (book and street), funny (even in the most awkward situations), sweet (check your pocket you might find a note that reads "Thank u for making me Smile"), outgoing (I'll be your friend when no one else wants to), crazy (life is too short to be simple), complex (this is why I am MisUnderstood)... either you get me, or you don't.



Thank yous...

Daze: You have been my diary. You understand my unspoken language in the morning (because I fkin hate to talk without brushing my teeth), you know how to organize my life when I could barely find my way through my own thoughts... you give me inspiration when I'm ready to settle by believing that maybe I should be another person in a suit behind a desk counting the days down until friday at 5. You have been there through the many heartbreaks, and even that one night I called you at 4 am crying... you picked up... the pieces that were left of my heart... you have been there even when I didn't want anyone around me... I am a better person because of you. Simply. A better person.

Yuvs: the most humble woman I know. Thank you for teaching me that pride is sometimes our biggest downfall. A friendship that I didn't see coming, I love you like a real momma jams. Intelligent like no other, you inspire me as a Dominican female to continue my education... can't nobody take away the knowledge that you gain through education... educate yourself, so you can educate others.

Lari: BRO... Only one year of being friends, and I know we'll be around each other for life. My true wingman! The one that supports my moves, as I support yours... fuk it, if we're wrong we'll laugh and learn... you have taught me that the most important thing in this world is to be happy. I would have never imagined that you are the type of girl that you are. And for that I am thankful. Thank you for always being a text, im, gchat, email, phone call, train hop away. Thank you for letting me spoon you in the middle of the night (it was cold bro, it was cold)... thank you for never ever judging me (even when I drank that whole.. and then I shouted out all the ugly b... in the club) thank you for not being prissy and so girly! ah! a real thug lol no no no.. a real woman.

Luz: 2 years and counting, you recruited me for the Stroll Team... an honor. Being your friend is an honor. You don't get too close to many people and for letting me be this close to you (and I dont mean the time you caught me dancing in front of the mirror as you passed by the bathroom), you have taught me that you can be young and have it all...

2008: Thank you for giving me an amazing summer. Thank you for letting me wake up every day and realize that I was lucky to have the sun in my face... thank you for that summer internship that pushed me to deciding that I do want to pursue writing... thank you for all the free events me and my girls got to go to, which allowed me to meet people outside of my circle... thank you for letting me grow a year older and becoming a little smarter as a person... thank you for letting me meet all the guys that were just a step closer to my soul mate... thank you for letting me gain a better understanding of me as a human being in this crowded ass elevator... thank you for always keeping it real and pointing out my mistakes. Thank you for Obama. Thank you for giving me hope in the most depressing of times...
Thank you.

I'm ready for change. Welcome 2009. Lets see where you lead me to.

Dig this...

My style is SLACKING... ugh. I just came to that realization today after looking at how dope I looked in H.s. but back then I had a job and I didn't have to worry about paying my phone bill (its more important than some new shoes, sadly)... And so I started to think wth happened?! and here it is... COLLEGE...DORMING... yup that sums it up.

4 years up here and I'm all about sweats and hoodies (most comfortable thing ever). Don't get it twisted, I dress when I need to dress. But now that I'll be back in NYC officially, I'll have to step my game up once again.

In the city i get inspired, just by looking at some random picture, or some girls handkerchief that happens to have an odd flower on it... up here the only inspiration I can get is from going into the fashion lab and flipping through the latest magazines... and yet, I've never been huge on high fashion. I'm more into random indie poetic styles that really give you a sense of who the person is... all that I'm a hip hop baby and an 80s baby crap is really annoying and tacky. Making one piece into a full outfit is more important to me than rocking all the latest runway fashions (not that I can afford them anywho)... I've never been the girl to ask for jewelry and diamonds--- I love costume jewelry all the fake plastic stuff makes me happy, the only diamond I want is if I ever get married ha----
I go through phases from the ghetto-fied urbinite sneaker wearing girl to the real prissy high heel pass me my clutch and hold my drink jump off... I can do it up down side ways... I guess I'm just versatile. I wore a 50's vintage dress summer 05 and did I not get looks??! yes, and now... now is in... I was the first in h.s. to rock boxing sneakers, plastic boxy black glasses, colored jeans, funky stockings, pocahontas boots (don't remember the real name), high wasted jeans ... and now! NOW ALL OF THAT IS IN... like seriously?? haha... I'll see how I RE INVENT those old styles.

A dude that can dress, damn... add a nice smile a couple of jokes/sarcastic smart mouth comments/ an avid reader...and well, I might just be in heaven. I feed off of that. Def a plus. And I don't mean throwing together some dunks and a tee, I mean really having something funky that will make me say "ehhh amiguito, so where did you get that?"... I guess my standards have gone up...

Trying to find ways to re-invent myself has suddenly caught my attention, I'm bored with this... w.e. this is.. hopefully this changes...fast... Maybe graduating and the new year put me in this re-invent yourself mood.... Stay tuned to see what happens because I feel some wild ideas coming about... Below some pictures that have inspired me lately...
dope dope dope...