You could never say enough...

IM THANKFUL THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP MY BEST FRIEND DAISY FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD... ROUGH PATCHES AND THE WALKS ON THE PARK... I HOPE THAT IT NEVER STOPS... THE FRIENDSHIP THAT IS. IM THANKFUL THAT I AM YOUNG ENOUGH TO STILL HAVE TIME TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT TRULY MATTER, LIKE THE ONE WITH MY MOTHER... I TOOK HER ON A DATE TODAY AND SHE WAS SIMPLY HAPPY, HER HAPPINESS SPREAD ALL OVER MY SOUL.. I KNOW NOW MORE THAN EVER THAT YOU COULD NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU TOO MANY TIMES, OR GIVE TOO MANY HUGS OR KISSES ::THAT'S WHAT MATTERS::...IM THANKFUL THAT I AM ABLE TO BE ROMANTICALLY ATTACHED AND BOUNCE BACK QUICKLY WHEN IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, I SWEAR ITS A GIFT AND I OWE IT TO WRITING... IM THANKFUL FOR NOT LOSING HOPE IN THINGS THAT ARE ALWAYS QUESTIONED, LIKE LOVE AND FAITH AND THE KINDNESS OF RANDOM STRANGERS... IM THANKFUL THAT SO MANY FEMALES THINK HIGHLY ENOUGH OF ME THAT THEY REACH OUT TO ME WHEN THEY NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND GIVE THEM ADVICE <--- WOW. IM THANKFUL THAT I KNOW I HAVE CHANGED PEOPLES LIVES ::SMALL OR LARGE:: FAN STAR. 21 ::THE AMOUNT OF DAYS IVE HAD A SMILE PLASTERED ON MY FACE::A CHANGE IN ROMANCE A CHANGE OF THOUGHT A CHANGE OF ME::

random gibberish

I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW AND ITS ALMOST AS IF I'M HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. EVER FEEL LIKE THAT? WHERE YOU TELL YOURSELF "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"......AH, THAT FEELING. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M WATCHING THE NOTE BOOK (FOR THE 100TH TIME) OR MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO FILL IN ALL THE BLANKS BEFORE THE 0'S TURN INTO 10S.....WONDERING IF I'M MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES OR IF I'M SETTING MYSELF UP FOR THE WRONGS, FOR THE SMH'S AND THE "I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO" MOMENTS...WONDERING IF I SHOULD DISREGARD ALL THAT MY FRIENDS FROWN UPON AND JUST KEEP IT MOVING...WONDERING WHEN IT WILL BE...I ALWAYS SAY THINGS WILL COME WHEN THE ALMIGHTY ABOVE DECIDES YOU'RE READY FOR IT, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL EXHAUSTED... WISH I COULD JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND TUNE IT ALL OUT, HAVE A BLANK CANVAS AND PAINT AWAY MY WORLD (SOMETHING LIKE FROM WHAT DREAMS MAY COME)....THIS IS ALL RANDOM GIBBERISH COMING FROM A WELL OF POST-IT THOUGHTS....

I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW....AND JUST WANTED TO SHARE IT.


GNITE.

I'm that Bish...

I JUST SAW THE GROUP CHAMBAO AND WHAT DO I DO!? I STOP AND STARE (INSERT SONG BY NEW REPUBLIC INTO BACKGROUND) I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT SPEAK... LIKE MY VOICE BOX WAS SUDDENLY ON MUTE... BUMMER, IF I COULD KICK MYSELF IN THE SHINS I WOULD. I LOVE THIS GROUP, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE FROM SPAIN. IN CASE YOU ARE LOST AND DON'T KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT, THE MAIN SINGER COLLABORATED WITH RICKY MARTIN ON "TU RECUERDO"...... SEE BELOW FOR ANOTHER OF MY FAV SONGS FROM CHAMBAO "DEJAME VIVIR" WHICH HAS AMAZING LYRICS (IT TALKS ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE LIVE IN THEIR OWN WAY, LETTING YOURSELF BECOME YOU AGAIN AND THEM DOING THE SAME)

... BUT ISN'T THAT FUNNY? I'VE BEEN AROUND BIGGER STARS AND I'M LIKE EH BLAH, MEAN WHILE I SEE THIS GROUP WHO ISN'T AS KNOWN IN THE U.S.A AND I'M REMINDING MYSELF TO BREATH... AT LEAST I GOT TO STAND NEXT TO THEM... HA HA SMALL STEPS MY FRIENDS.

CONTINUING ON THE TOPIC OF MUSIC, AS I WROTE OUT THE ADDRESSES FOR THE UPCOMING PEOPLE EN ESPANOL PREMIOS IN MIAMI, I WAS LISTENING TO LIKKEY LI AND A FELLOW CO WORKER (WHO STARTLED ME) COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS INTO HER... HMMM. SHE ASKED WHAT ELSE I LIKED SO I SAID ::INGRID MICHAELSON, A FINE FRENZY ETC ETC:: AND SHE HAD A SMILE EAR TO EAR (CUTE)... BUT THAT GOT ME TO THINKING, THAT NOW BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON (MUSIC TASTE IS SO MOTIVATIONAL IN A RELATIONSHIP ISN'T?) HER AND I COULD HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA--PAST COWORKERS...AND THEN I GOT OFFENDED.-- WELL FOR A SPLIT SECOND--HA HA. WHY? WELL WHY WOULDN'T I LIKE LYKKEY LI? I WONDER IF I COME OFF AS THE TYPE THAT ONLY LISTENS TO AVENTURA OR BEYONCE... GRRR.

SO I ENCOURAGE YOU TO GO OUT THERE AND FIND NEW MUSIC, YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED AT THE STUFF THAT IS OUT THERE. AND DONT BE QUICK TO JUDGE THE GUY ON THE TRAIN WITH THE HUGE HEAD PHONES BECAUSE HE'S WEARING SOMETHING PUNK/EMO-- GET CLOSER HE MIGHT JUST HAVE 22 TWOS BY JAYZ PLAYING...

LIVING LIGHT AS A FEATHER WITH MY FEET STEADY ON THE GROUND... I CANT BELIEVE, COULD THIS BE TRUE ____ I FOUND? <3>
KEEP EM' GUESSING LADIES.

FANSTAR

Inhale My Full Sexuality...

Life is one big ironic scene, always on going never stopping. Funny how one could be completely devastated when a romantic encounter ends, completely missing out on the point that the universe is making. The signs were there for a while but as humans and stubborn beings that we are, you choose not to listen… fk it I can make this work (I’ll force it, even if I have to cut the pieces myself so that they fit ha..ha..ha..) So here you are, sad upset and having a hard time remembering what it was to be happy before this person existed in your life. Every where you go their name pops up, every song seems to have a line you swear was customized for this person….. and then (INSERT IRONY HERE) someone new catches your eye--- ::sigh:: maybe the universe knew what it was doing all along. Maybe your intuition should have a little more control over your heart…perhaps. Perhaps.

I always say it and continue to say it… take a risk in all, especially in romance. You can’t get caught up in the end of something (old) when the true lesson is that you need to get ready for the something (new) that is making its way to you. And I don’t mean the next person you meet will be the soul mate you were waiting for, what I do mean is that this new being you are going to cross paths with will take you one step closer to whatever it is you are looking for…….

I have a topic swirling in my head and don’t know how to put it down on paper (or blogger) just yet. But it has to do with sex and the double standards that will never go away (no, they wont). How these ideas affect Latinas (based on the ones I have held a conversation regarding the subject) and if they hinder our possibilities for a monogamous and committed relationship… something like, a man expecting a virgin (ha!), or women not being able to talk about casual sex openly not only because she will be looked down as a puta (ouch tough word, sounds so ugly doesn’t it?) by men but also by their counterparts (SMH), AND the biggest issue of all for me with this topic—is can women ever truly “act” like men? Detach themselves from all emotional aspects of being intimate and enjoy sex purely for …sex?

I’ll be writing on this soon… let me gather my thoughts.

Fan Star

::Lately I can’t stop smiling, Daydreams fill my thoughts, Sparkle in my Eyes, My soul is Dancing::

Spreading the Sunshine...

I can speed up and slow down. One minute I want to be home alone relaxed listening to some of my favorite neo soul music, and the next I can't wait to be outside living through the people around me...and so I lived.

I ventured into the LES in the company of my girl GG, the cutest shorty you will ever meet--with a heart bigger than she---of course I managed to get lost. I always get lost with GG on the train, but that's because we get so into our stories... Catching up with us is funner than any sports game--trust. The rest of my girls joined at the NuBlu lounge. I love small places, they give me an excuse to be closer to people ::lets converse:: We went to NuBlu to bask in the sound of The Crowd, the group I had previously posted up on my blog. As I sat there I thought, how dope would it be to be able to fall asleep to the live acoustic sounds of these musicians.... hmm. I think I'll try to find a dude that can serenade me to sleep... its only fair if I have to............................. ;0)

Yo Soy Latina

Random Friday! I was beat from the LES night out, but I got offered tix to a WONDERFUL one hour play called Yo Soy Latina and completely fell in love. I could relate to all the characters on that stage... I love being Latina here in the U.S. but dios mio it could be so confusing! Between pleasing my mom and figuring out what I want in life... ahy ahy ahy headache... but rewarding. The night ended at a Thai restaurant ::love love love pad Thai:: and all I gotta say is...

Unexpected Surprise
Bringing a little Sunshine to my current life
Hoping for a.... before the goodbyes
I'm cool, I'm smiling
These conversations I'll keep on mentally filing
A brand new friendship that's worth the while.
But trust it helps you got crazy style...
ha.ha.

Halloween 09!
What a fun weekend! I kept it cool and hung out with some of my favorite ladies. If I could record our conversations or the small moments ::Yani in red and heels lol:: I swear we would have fans up the wazu. I don't think the friendships I have could compare. Blessed is short but will do for lack of a better way to describe it... I was a Kitty Kat, Yani a Soldier girl, Zu a She Devil and Lari was Lady Gaga... add in a packed bar, some drinks, crazy Dominican men, and getting pulled over by the cops and you got yourself a memorable night.

I took a personality test and it says I am a Teacher Idealist. It says the following:
* Idealist women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience.
*Idealists are the most likely of all types to resonate with the Boomer phrase, "Finding Your Passion." Idealists strive to find Meaning and Unique Identity in their lives.

I kept reading and it was so on point with my personality... almost made my mouth fall... hmm some food for thought... what type of personality do you have? and is it safe to talk politics and religion on dates?

"LOVE MUST BE LIKE SUMMER RAIN AT 6 PM... WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN LOVE?"

FANSTAR

New York State of Mind...

I just watched the Mayoral Debates and first off all, I had no idea half of this stuff was going on... I'm almost ashamed to say that I haven't kept up with what is going on in NYC.
I'm confused as to whom I should believe since politicians are usually liars or at least that has been my conclusion for the past few years. Thompson took a stab at Bloomberg every chance he got, completely missing the point of the questions that were given to him, and the answers that he did give were repeated--- I guess to make his points. They said that both these men have been working together for the past eight years, and when asked what grade they would give each other on their jobs Thompson jumped at the chance to say that Bloomberg deserved a D- (and that was him being nice), Bloomberg actually complemented Thompson... makes you wonder if he is just trying to be the bigger person or to gain some points with the public...

The reporter asked Bloomberg how he felt when people say he is out of touch with the average New Yorker since he is worth around 16 Billion dollars --- SERIOUSLY?-- he said that he actually rides the train (which last time I read was for a couple of stops and then he got out and had a private car take him to his office) and actually feels connected with the average NYorker because he started here with just a small business... Now my issue is, that's gravy and all Mr. Governor but how do you who can afford to retire tomorrow and go vacation off the coast of France relate to say the many families who are being bought out of their homes, my mom who has been here for 14 years had to sell her house because she couldn't afford it (the cost of living exceeds the amount you make), or the south and central American workers who have to wake up at the crack of dawn to make food for their home/take their kids to school/clean/and slave over jobs that pay them minimum wage or less because they are not legal immigrants here? etc etc... I'm not hatin on the guy, however dont tell me that you can RELATE to my issues or the "average" NYorkers issue because you ride the train at least five times a week for three stops... oh no sir.

This Thompson character needs to get himself in check though, don't go on national T.V. and demean your opposing party because then it makes it seem like you spend your days looking for dirt on Mr. 16 Billion Dollars instead of doing your research on what NYorkers need for the next couple of years. According to one of his commercials my boy Obama supports him, (must look into why) so... that MUST mean hes great right? (SMH) I hope people don't go out and just vote for him because they saw Obama's pearly whites on the top left hand corner of the screen... LETS DO OUR RESEARCH! Lets see where both these men stand on issues regarding jobs, education, health, safety, transit and most of all the future of NYC.


This city is extremely important to me. As someone who came here at age nine, I learned to love the cold winters and the hot summers where my cousins and I would make our way to Astoria Park Public Pool (only if 99 street pool was too packed of course). I didn't know the Heights existed until one summer in DR this random guy we called Caco de Bola said he was tough because he was from LOS HEIGHTS... a couple of years later I made my way uptown through the 1 train and fell in love with my Dominicanos all over again. This city taught me street smarts, and trust me they come in handy no matter where I've been. It gave me an opportunity to taste different cultures, to snap my fingers one night at a poetry slam and dance my life away through the rhythms of salsa the next. NYC inspires me every day to push forward and take risks, it teaches me that diversity is a precious and rare gift (I mean where else can you sit and simultaneously listen to multiple conversations in different languages but the train??)... NYC has watched me grow and I have learned to appreciate it for what it is and what it isn't. I have been lucky enough to travel to many places including large cities, and though I am the first to say that Toronto is cleaner and that Rome is breath taking, NONE and I mean NONE have compared to my never sleeping city.

So go do your research. Educate yourselves, these issues DO affect our communities, our younger cousins and siblings, our economic state, our morning commute! The most important weapon of all is to be knowledgeable and its arch nemesis ignorance would like all of us to turn the cheeck and leave it to the "Elite" group to make the decisions for the masses... but in reality it is us, MI GENTE, that make this city what it is!

Entonces! check out some sites and read up! or do it the cool way and support our news papers and magazines!

Gotham Gazette

Bloomberg

Thompson

NYTimes


Spread the Knowledge...

FanStar

What's on your Radio...

A new adventure…

Last night my girl Sasha and I joined a wonderful multi-talented duo at their radio show on urbanlatinoradio.fm

It was so dope! I’ve been on t.v. shows before and actually spoken in front of the camera and I am super awkward (deer caught in head lights). But being on the radio is completely different. I guess the fact that you are not necessarily being watched (even though they had a web cam in the room) makes it easier to “flow”. I wasn’t hosting or talking much, but I got to share my opinion on Latino in America (the small bit I saw) as well as a couple of lines here and there.

They interviewed the online editor of Latina magazine. A really dope girl, very opinionated and chill (as-hell). It is nice to always see young Latina womyn making moves in the media industry (can you tell I was inspired yet again…hehe).

Their second guest for the night was this up and coming group called “The Crowd” and when they performed I was blown away by the talent. I haven’t heard something so good coming out of a group in a really long time. The Crowd is composed of three individuals: Akil Dasan, Randy Mason, and Adeline (who is FRENCH!). I immediately had a crush on RM haha I am the biggest sucker for poets/artists--- I can’t help it. However their music is amazing, and I plan on supporting by attending their shows and spreading their name J to the masses.
I’ll let you listen for yourself and if you don’t like it, then you don’t know what good music is…

Info!
The Crowd
http://www.myspace.com/therealcrowd

check out their up coming shows in NYC, Philly & Boston.

Entonces! A huge shout out to Rachel Loca La Boca for always introducing me to new possibilities, to Mike aka Juan Bago for being so funny and welcoming and to Sashita Manita for being who you are.

Listen to their show on Thursday Nights from 7pm to 9 pm!!

Loving.Living.Laughing.