So I a lot of my friends who have checked out my blog have asked me why it is that I write so much about relationships, romance, men and women etc.. and the reason is because it is a recurring theme in my life across the board not to mention it is a topic that anyone can relate to... so it is easier to write, since most people have been in similar situations, or know of someone who has.
My issue is that my outlooks on relationships and romance are often MISUNDERSTOOD... and then I'm forced to either ignore it or do some major damage control. Most men in my past either get what i have to say or they don't. I guess my comments, questions and concerns are left open to be interpreted as people wish... if you don't ask then I can't assume you MISUNDERSTOOD me...
On the other hand, I understand that this may have ended some possible romantic encounters prematurely, but the way I see it, if it was meant to be it woulda' been.
I watched how to lose a guy in 10 days again, and that movie really makes sense. Most of us do a lot of things that turn men away, i.e. being needy, moody, too much in their personal spaces (all they hear is blah blah blah lol)... and this is something that you try to work on with age (I'm guessing). But after the many dates (from hell) I've been on I think I'm okay with how I see romance... so here are my views for those of you who have asked...
Love: I believe you can have love for something or for someone forever. But there is a difference between loving and being in love, and most people fail to remember that. Then again, love to me is enjoying a summer breeze in complete silence outside my building as I write... what brings joy to your heart. Love is too deep of a word to truly explain.
Commitment: Commitment is work. You have to work to earn the trust, to earn the "love" and the honesty of the person you are with. I see it as a privilege. I only get worked up about this subject when ignorant comments are made... but I'm working on that. Do I enjoy it? hmmm it is yet to happen (on a healthy level) so I'll get back to that one. But, what I do know is that you cant get ahead of yourself too quick because you might ruin things. In other words, don't rush don't push don't pull back... just stroll along. Because if you rush it can end with a crash, if you push it can end with a crash, and if you pull back you may find yourself knocking on the door while someone already has your spot. So stroll... along.
Honesty: ALWAYS be honest. I can't stress that. If you are then you have nothing to regret. And this allows you not to burn any bridges. Id rather an ugly truth than a pretty lie. This is why I ask so many questions. PREGUNTONA.
The X factor: for the most part, if you ended it on good terms you can always keep it cool. Again I don't burn any bridges, sometimes they come in handy when you have to get across the river. To me, getting jealous over an X is juvenile. Unless the person gives you a reason to feel threaten then the X shouldn't matter... they are the X for a reason.
Discussing where you stand: If the vibe is right this is a simple thing to do. I always go for this question because it allows you to see if you are really getting to know each other or if you are just a hobby.
Feelin' you Feelin' me: Our generation doesn't use the phone much to call, but rather to text. Texting though can be MISUNDERSTOOD communication that can lead to a dead end real quick. But to find out if he/she is into you, is quick short and painless. So I don't see a problem with that... does that make sense? However, don't beat around the bush. I once asked a guy the deal and it took him a week to respond, HA, ask me if I ever got back to him? Keep it simple.
Snooping around: Oh man, i can write a book on this one. Ladies, if you put your nose where it doesn't belong you will either find something you dont like, or you will mess w.e. you have going. And if you are my girlfriend, I'll be the first one to say "you set yourself up for it". Guys are nosey too (I know this) (you know this), but they are usually covert about it. Curiosity is a human emotion, just don't let it drive you.
Okay, don't take my 2 cents if you don't want. We all have different dating profiles and standards... but I know what I know, which is why I do what I want and say what I feel...
Hope that clears it up!!
Fan Star
p.s. on a more personal note! I did a website! for my class... check it out. If you don't have windows vista it wont look right (sorry!) but still... pretty exciting: http://thefix09.weebly.com/home.html
My issue is that my outlooks on relationships and romance are often MISUNDERSTOOD... and then I'm forced to either ignore it or do some major damage control. Most men in my past either get what i have to say or they don't. I guess my comments, questions and concerns are left open to be interpreted as people wish... if you don't ask then I can't assume you MISUNDERSTOOD me...
On the other hand, I understand that this may have ended some possible romantic encounters prematurely, but the way I see it, if it was meant to be it woulda' been.
I watched how to lose a guy in 10 days again, and that movie really makes sense. Most of us do a lot of things that turn men away, i.e. being needy, moody, too much in their personal spaces (all they hear is blah blah blah lol)... and this is something that you try to work on with age (I'm guessing). But after the many dates (from hell) I've been on I think I'm okay with how I see romance... so here are my views for those of you who have asked...
Love: I believe you can have love for something or for someone forever. But there is a difference between loving and being in love, and most people fail to remember that. Then again, love to me is enjoying a summer breeze in complete silence outside my building as I write... what brings joy to your heart. Love is too deep of a word to truly explain.
Commitment: Commitment is work. You have to work to earn the trust, to earn the "love" and the honesty of the person you are with. I see it as a privilege. I only get worked up about this subject when ignorant comments are made... but I'm working on that. Do I enjoy it? hmmm it is yet to happen (on a healthy level) so I'll get back to that one. But, what I do know is that you cant get ahead of yourself too quick because you might ruin things. In other words, don't rush don't push don't pull back... just stroll along. Because if you rush it can end with a crash, if you push it can end with a crash, and if you pull back you may find yourself knocking on the door while someone already has your spot. So stroll... along.
Honesty: ALWAYS be honest. I can't stress that. If you are then you have nothing to regret. And this allows you not to burn any bridges. Id rather an ugly truth than a pretty lie. This is why I ask so many questions. PREGUNTONA.
The X factor: for the most part, if you ended it on good terms you can always keep it cool. Again I don't burn any bridges, sometimes they come in handy when you have to get across the river. To me, getting jealous over an X is juvenile. Unless the person gives you a reason to feel threaten then the X shouldn't matter... they are the X for a reason.
Discussing where you stand: If the vibe is right this is a simple thing to do. I always go for this question because it allows you to see if you are really getting to know each other or if you are just a hobby.
Feelin' you Feelin' me: Our generation doesn't use the phone much to call, but rather to text. Texting though can be MISUNDERSTOOD communication that can lead to a dead end real quick. But to find out if he/she is into you, is quick short and painless. So I don't see a problem with that... does that make sense? However, don't beat around the bush. I once asked a guy the deal and it took him a week to respond, HA, ask me if I ever got back to him? Keep it simple.
Snooping around: Oh man, i can write a book on this one. Ladies, if you put your nose where it doesn't belong you will either find something you dont like, or you will mess w.e. you have going. And if you are my girlfriend, I'll be the first one to say "you set yourself up for it". Guys are nosey too (I know this) (you know this), but they are usually covert about it. Curiosity is a human emotion, just don't let it drive you.
Okay, don't take my 2 cents if you don't want. We all have different dating profiles and standards... but I know what I know, which is why I do what I want and say what I feel...
Hope that clears it up!!
Fan Star
p.s. on a more personal note! I did a website! for my class... check it out. If you don't have windows vista it wont look right (sorry!) but still... pretty exciting: http://thefix09.weebly.com/home.html
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