I know my blog seems/sounds one sided, but Id like to make a point that this isn’t a blog about one particular thing. I’m not someone who only writes about celebrities (if at all), or about the newest restaurant in town, or new music of the week… Instead, I write about my life and what affects my thoughts, my movement, my future, my present and past. And if it happens to do with music/film/men/romance/friendship/family/death then I’ll include it in my stories.
I had mentioned in a previous blog that I wanted to talk about an issue that I’ve been faced with over the course of the last years. I know I write about my dates and relationship situations a lot but it is what it is.
So my continuous issue, and the older I get the more of an issue it becomes is… drum roll…
My ideals/wants/hobbies/social life/friends/habits/education/points of views vs. a relationship.
Education:
When I was a freshman @ Marist I had un enamorado who would always say: you think you’re better than me bc you are getting an education?---yea.
Social life:
Always a topic of debate! Why do you know so many guys?! My response: I don’t know, why don’t you?... why do you always have an event or something to do? Why must you wear bright colors? Why …why…why… don’t you just live your life, and let me live mine?—yea.
Ideals:
I dont want to raise my kids with any particular religion, I believe in a balance of being strict and being liberal, if I have a girl and a boy they are both doing the same amount of anything (i.e. just bc she’s the girl does not mean she has to clean,cook,etcect). ß this is where most guys Ive dated start to raise their eyebrows.
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I know that isn’t enough information for you, but I cant sit here and write out all the stories at once. My point is that, I find it to be ironic that men who begin to date me always say how interesting and “different” I am, they love that I am a.b.c.d. but a.b.c.d. are the reasons why "it" never last…--yea.
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I’m not being pessimistic, I am still the helpless romantic who crosses her fingers. But I’m quickly getting tired of this "issue". Should I be less of me, and more of a stereotypical docile obedient none verbal “okay with all you do”—no te apures mi rey yo limpio, cocino, te hago de todo- type of female? why is it that wherever I turn, even within my family and friends families there lacks a balance of power? or respect for the others personality? Maybe I just happen to walk into the wrong scenarios...
At the end of every encounter con un enamorado, I evaluate my actions, my words, my way of being with this person. And I try to dissect and separate the good from the bad choices that I made through out the encounter. I guess what I mean is that I try to grow from it. Take away from it.
These past months: I learned that like pieces of a puzzle you cant force it when you are clearly not compatible. It’s almost as if a chemist mixed the wrong stuff… and didn’t get it quite right. People are who they are. My cousin told me that sometimes you just have to hope for the guy to change… I have a lot of hope but I can’t waste it on that. You think that was mean? And i dont mean to say that women dont do the same to men. I am willing to change. You just have to ask right...go about it the right way... make sense?
I had mentioned in a previous blog that I wanted to talk about an issue that I’ve been faced with over the course of the last years. I know I write about my dates and relationship situations a lot but it is what it is.
So my continuous issue, and the older I get the more of an issue it becomes is… drum roll…
My ideals/wants/hobbies/social life/friends/habits/education/points of views vs. a relationship.
Education:
When I was a freshman @ Marist I had un enamorado who would always say: you think you’re better than me bc you are getting an education?---yea.
Social life:
Always a topic of debate! Why do you know so many guys?! My response: I don’t know, why don’t you?... why do you always have an event or something to do? Why must you wear bright colors? Why …why…why… don’t you just live your life, and let me live mine?—yea.
Ideals:
I dont want to raise my kids with any particular religion, I believe in a balance of being strict and being liberal, if I have a girl and a boy they are both doing the same amount of anything (i.e. just bc she’s the girl does not mean she has to clean,cook,etcect). ß this is where most guys Ive dated start to raise their eyebrows.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I know that isn’t enough information for you, but I cant sit here and write out all the stories at once. My point is that, I find it to be ironic that men who begin to date me always say how interesting and “different” I am, they love that I am a.b.c.d. but a.b.c.d. are the reasons why "it" never last…--yea.
________________________________________________________________________-
I’m not being pessimistic, I am still the helpless romantic who crosses her fingers. But I’m quickly getting tired of this "issue". Should I be less of me, and more of a stereotypical docile obedient none verbal “okay with all you do”—no te apures mi rey yo limpio, cocino, te hago de todo- type of female? why is it that wherever I turn, even within my family and friends families there lacks a balance of power? or respect for the others personality? Maybe I just happen to walk into the wrong scenarios...
At the end of every encounter con un enamorado, I evaluate my actions, my words, my way of being with this person. And I try to dissect and separate the good from the bad choices that I made through out the encounter. I guess what I mean is that I try to grow from it. Take away from it.
These past months: I learned that like pieces of a puzzle you cant force it when you are clearly not compatible. It’s almost as if a chemist mixed the wrong stuff… and didn’t get it quite right. People are who they are. My cousin told me that sometimes you just have to hope for the guy to change… I have a lot of hope but I can’t waste it on that. You think that was mean? And i dont mean to say that women dont do the same to men. I am willing to change. You just have to ask right...go about it the right way... make sense?
I wonder of the impact I made in my past lovers lives... I always do. But it can't be that bad if I'm still great friends with 3/4 of them... hmm.
Regardless of the fact
That I am who I am
Not simply exposed by the lens of your cam
I cant stop being…
I’m only 23
And although I enjoy what comes with being free
I wouldn’t mind
If
I could find
The eternal fountain of …
Love.
Regardless of the fact
That I am who I am
Not simply exposed by the lens of your cam
I cant stop being…
I’m only 23
And although I enjoy what comes with being free
I wouldn’t mind
If
I could find
The eternal fountain of …
Love.
Maybe it doesn't exist, maybe Love is a word just made up.
Maybe one day you will stop hearing me...and start to Listen.
No more vague kisses.....
beneath the nook I'll wait...
for the Lover that will come with my next
date...oh the wonders of fate...
Fan-Dizzy
1 comments:
First and foremost everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why you are considerably the "black sheep" in this case the one with a spirited mind who refuses to be tied down due to traditions or stereotypes of who or what a woman should be and do. The fact that you placed within these scenarios are more of a confirmation as to why you should be the difference. Continue to observe what is around you and the difference you can make to the scenes that you are a part of.
Being a woman is a blessing in disguise that many are not able to see which is why we can ask so many questions: If being a woman wasnt a blessing, than why are there more of us than there are men in this world? Why does the female bear the child? In reality it is the woman who holds the family.
Continue to be that difference, you will find ur nitch, I PROMISE!
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