You could never say enough...

IM THANKFUL THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP MY BEST FRIEND DAISY FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD... ROUGH PATCHES AND THE WALKS ON THE PARK... I HOPE THAT IT NEVER STOPS... THE FRIENDSHIP THAT IS. IM THANKFUL THAT I AM YOUNG ENOUGH TO STILL HAVE TIME TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT TRULY MATTER, LIKE THE ONE WITH MY MOTHER... I TOOK HER ON A DATE TODAY AND SHE WAS SIMPLY HAPPY, HER HAPPINESS SPREAD ALL OVER MY SOUL.. I KNOW NOW MORE THAN EVER THAT YOU COULD NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU TOO MANY TIMES, OR GIVE TOO MANY HUGS OR KISSES ::THAT'S WHAT MATTERS::...IM THANKFUL THAT I AM ABLE TO BE ROMANTICALLY ATTACHED AND BOUNCE BACK QUICKLY WHEN IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, I SWEAR ITS A GIFT AND I OWE IT TO WRITING... IM THANKFUL FOR NOT LOSING HOPE IN THINGS THAT ARE ALWAYS QUESTIONED, LIKE LOVE AND FAITH AND THE KINDNESS OF RANDOM STRANGERS... IM THANKFUL THAT SO MANY FEMALES THINK HIGHLY ENOUGH OF ME THAT THEY REACH OUT TO ME WHEN THEY NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND GIVE THEM ADVICE <--- WOW. IM THANKFUL THAT I KNOW I HAVE CHANGED PEOPLES LIVES ::SMALL OR LARGE:: FAN STAR. 21 ::THE AMOUNT OF DAYS IVE HAD A SMILE PLASTERED ON MY FACE::A CHANGE IN ROMANCE A CHANGE OF THOUGHT A CHANGE OF ME::

random gibberish

I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW AND ITS ALMOST AS IF I'M HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. EVER FEEL LIKE THAT? WHERE YOU TELL YOURSELF "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"......AH, THAT FEELING. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M WATCHING THE NOTE BOOK (FOR THE 100TH TIME) OR MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO FILL IN ALL THE BLANKS BEFORE THE 0'S TURN INTO 10S.....WONDERING IF I'M MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES OR IF I'M SETTING MYSELF UP FOR THE WRONGS, FOR THE SMH'S AND THE "I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO" MOMENTS...WONDERING IF I SHOULD DISREGARD ALL THAT MY FRIENDS FROWN UPON AND JUST KEEP IT MOVING...WONDERING WHEN IT WILL BE...I ALWAYS SAY THINGS WILL COME WHEN THE ALMIGHTY ABOVE DECIDES YOU'RE READY FOR IT, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL EXHAUSTED... WISH I COULD JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND TUNE IT ALL OUT, HAVE A BLANK CANVAS AND PAINT AWAY MY WORLD (SOMETHING LIKE FROM WHAT DREAMS MAY COME)....THIS IS ALL RANDOM GIBBERISH COMING FROM A WELL OF POST-IT THOUGHTS....

I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW....AND JUST WANTED TO SHARE IT.


GNITE.

I'm that Bish...

I JUST SAW THE GROUP CHAMBAO AND WHAT DO I DO!? I STOP AND STARE (INSERT SONG BY NEW REPUBLIC INTO BACKGROUND) I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT SPEAK... LIKE MY VOICE BOX WAS SUDDENLY ON MUTE... BUMMER, IF I COULD KICK MYSELF IN THE SHINS I WOULD. I LOVE THIS GROUP, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE FROM SPAIN. IN CASE YOU ARE LOST AND DON'T KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT, THE MAIN SINGER COLLABORATED WITH RICKY MARTIN ON "TU RECUERDO"...... SEE BELOW FOR ANOTHER OF MY FAV SONGS FROM CHAMBAO "DEJAME VIVIR" WHICH HAS AMAZING LYRICS (IT TALKS ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE LIVE IN THEIR OWN WAY, LETTING YOURSELF BECOME YOU AGAIN AND THEM DOING THE SAME)

... BUT ISN'T THAT FUNNY? I'VE BEEN AROUND BIGGER STARS AND I'M LIKE EH BLAH, MEAN WHILE I SEE THIS GROUP WHO ISN'T AS KNOWN IN THE U.S.A AND I'M REMINDING MYSELF TO BREATH... AT LEAST I GOT TO STAND NEXT TO THEM... HA HA SMALL STEPS MY FRIENDS.

CONTINUING ON THE TOPIC OF MUSIC, AS I WROTE OUT THE ADDRESSES FOR THE UPCOMING PEOPLE EN ESPANOL PREMIOS IN MIAMI, I WAS LISTENING TO LIKKEY LI AND A FELLOW CO WORKER (WHO STARTLED ME) COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS INTO HER... HMMM. SHE ASKED WHAT ELSE I LIKED SO I SAID ::INGRID MICHAELSON, A FINE FRENZY ETC ETC:: AND SHE HAD A SMILE EAR TO EAR (CUTE)... BUT THAT GOT ME TO THINKING, THAT NOW BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON (MUSIC TASTE IS SO MOTIVATIONAL IN A RELATIONSHIP ISN'T?) HER AND I COULD HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA--PAST COWORKERS...AND THEN I GOT OFFENDED.-- WELL FOR A SPLIT SECOND--HA HA. WHY? WELL WHY WOULDN'T I LIKE LYKKEY LI? I WONDER IF I COME OFF AS THE TYPE THAT ONLY LISTENS TO AVENTURA OR BEYONCE... GRRR.

SO I ENCOURAGE YOU TO GO OUT THERE AND FIND NEW MUSIC, YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED AT THE STUFF THAT IS OUT THERE. AND DONT BE QUICK TO JUDGE THE GUY ON THE TRAIN WITH THE HUGE HEAD PHONES BECAUSE HE'S WEARING SOMETHING PUNK/EMO-- GET CLOSER HE MIGHT JUST HAVE 22 TWOS BY JAYZ PLAYING...

LIVING LIGHT AS A FEATHER WITH MY FEET STEADY ON THE GROUND... I CANT BELIEVE, COULD THIS BE TRUE ____ I FOUND? <3>
KEEP EM' GUESSING LADIES.

FANSTAR

Inhale My Full Sexuality...

Life is one big ironic scene, always on going never stopping. Funny how one could be completely devastated when a romantic encounter ends, completely missing out on the point that the universe is making. The signs were there for a while but as humans and stubborn beings that we are, you choose not to listen… fk it I can make this work (I’ll force it, even if I have to cut the pieces myself so that they fit ha..ha..ha..) So here you are, sad upset and having a hard time remembering what it was to be happy before this person existed in your life. Every where you go their name pops up, every song seems to have a line you swear was customized for this person….. and then (INSERT IRONY HERE) someone new catches your eye--- ::sigh:: maybe the universe knew what it was doing all along. Maybe your intuition should have a little more control over your heart…perhaps. Perhaps.

I always say it and continue to say it… take a risk in all, especially in romance. You can’t get caught up in the end of something (old) when the true lesson is that you need to get ready for the something (new) that is making its way to you. And I don’t mean the next person you meet will be the soul mate you were waiting for, what I do mean is that this new being you are going to cross paths with will take you one step closer to whatever it is you are looking for…….

I have a topic swirling in my head and don’t know how to put it down on paper (or blogger) just yet. But it has to do with sex and the double standards that will never go away (no, they wont). How these ideas affect Latinas (based on the ones I have held a conversation regarding the subject) and if they hinder our possibilities for a monogamous and committed relationship… something like, a man expecting a virgin (ha!), or women not being able to talk about casual sex openly not only because she will be looked down as a puta (ouch tough word, sounds so ugly doesn’t it?) by men but also by their counterparts (SMH), AND the biggest issue of all for me with this topic—is can women ever truly “act” like men? Detach themselves from all emotional aspects of being intimate and enjoy sex purely for …sex?

I’ll be writing on this soon… let me gather my thoughts.

Fan Star

::Lately I can’t stop smiling, Daydreams fill my thoughts, Sparkle in my Eyes, My soul is Dancing::

Spreading the Sunshine...

I can speed up and slow down. One minute I want to be home alone relaxed listening to some of my favorite neo soul music, and the next I can't wait to be outside living through the people around me...and so I lived.

I ventured into the LES in the company of my girl GG, the cutest shorty you will ever meet--with a heart bigger than she---of course I managed to get lost. I always get lost with GG on the train, but that's because we get so into our stories... Catching up with us is funner than any sports game--trust. The rest of my girls joined at the NuBlu lounge. I love small places, they give me an excuse to be closer to people ::lets converse:: We went to NuBlu to bask in the sound of The Crowd, the group I had previously posted up on my blog. As I sat there I thought, how dope would it be to be able to fall asleep to the live acoustic sounds of these musicians.... hmm. I think I'll try to find a dude that can serenade me to sleep... its only fair if I have to............................. ;0)

Yo Soy Latina

Random Friday! I was beat from the LES night out, but I got offered tix to a WONDERFUL one hour play called Yo Soy Latina and completely fell in love. I could relate to all the characters on that stage... I love being Latina here in the U.S. but dios mio it could be so confusing! Between pleasing my mom and figuring out what I want in life... ahy ahy ahy headache... but rewarding. The night ended at a Thai restaurant ::love love love pad Thai:: and all I gotta say is...

Unexpected Surprise
Bringing a little Sunshine to my current life
Hoping for a.... before the goodbyes
I'm cool, I'm smiling
These conversations I'll keep on mentally filing
A brand new friendship that's worth the while.
But trust it helps you got crazy style...
ha.ha.

Halloween 09!
What a fun weekend! I kept it cool and hung out with some of my favorite ladies. If I could record our conversations or the small moments ::Yani in red and heels lol:: I swear we would have fans up the wazu. I don't think the friendships I have could compare. Blessed is short but will do for lack of a better way to describe it... I was a Kitty Kat, Yani a Soldier girl, Zu a She Devil and Lari was Lady Gaga... add in a packed bar, some drinks, crazy Dominican men, and getting pulled over by the cops and you got yourself a memorable night.

I took a personality test and it says I am a Teacher Idealist. It says the following:
* Idealist women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience.
*Idealists are the most likely of all types to resonate with the Boomer phrase, "Finding Your Passion." Idealists strive to find Meaning and Unique Identity in their lives.

I kept reading and it was so on point with my personality... almost made my mouth fall... hmm some food for thought... what type of personality do you have? and is it safe to talk politics and religion on dates?

"LOVE MUST BE LIKE SUMMER RAIN AT 6 PM... WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN LOVE?"

FANSTAR